when will it end...
It's just a never-ending struggle.
I express discontent at certain things you do, certain comments you make, the argument starts. again. we NEVER have anything constructive to say to each other when it comes to times like these. Coz at the end of the day, you always come round to the SAME OLD argument.
"IT'S ALL HIS FAULT. IF YOUR FATHER NEVER DID WHAT HE DID, THINGS WOULDN'T BE THIS WAY NOW. I WOULDN'T BE SUFFERING."
ok. you win. it's all his fault. you never had a part in this. i dun matter, your son doesn't matter. what matters is that you've been through hell, you've done all you could for us? but have you really? i don't deny it must have been a really difficult time for you, but your actions later just shows clearly where you put your priorities.
you say you love us, you always remind me how much effort you have to put in. you keep the house pretty and spic-and-span. then why don't i feel loved? are my expectations too high? am i demanding too much? i understand you have a house to upkeep, a job that requires long hrs..but really its the little things that matter. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.
all it really took is a minor adjustment from my side. adjusting to having no parents. no family. adjusting to the fact that noone will really be there for me. through my various experiences. I KNOW i cannot count on you. as much as i like to think so.. i have been disappointed many times. TOO many times. so i adapt. i grew not to expect. from here i can even get some unexpected bouts of joy. and i know as much as my father loves me, he is thousands of miles away. he will never be physically here. ever. i needed friends and activities to fill the void.
maybe i'm just this stupid needy person, and an unfilial daughter.
of course things have become much better between us in recent years, but i really don't want to become too attached. i don't want to start giving much. becoz i don't want to get hurt again one day. so i just don't care..this is a very valid complaint of me. i'm sorry but it's a form of self-protection.
it just always comes up every now and then. however hard i try to AVOID it, i cannot help myself sometimes.
I'M SICK AND TIRED. IT'S BEEN 9 BLOODY YEARS. how many more times do we have to go through this argument?
I express discontent at certain things you do, certain comments you make, the argument starts. again. we NEVER have anything constructive to say to each other when it comes to times like these. Coz at the end of the day, you always come round to the SAME OLD argument.
"IT'S ALL HIS FAULT. IF YOUR FATHER NEVER DID WHAT HE DID, THINGS WOULDN'T BE THIS WAY NOW. I WOULDN'T BE SUFFERING."
ok. you win. it's all his fault. you never had a part in this. i dun matter, your son doesn't matter. what matters is that you've been through hell, you've done all you could for us? but have you really? i don't deny it must have been a really difficult time for you, but your actions later just shows clearly where you put your priorities.
you say you love us, you always remind me how much effort you have to put in. you keep the house pretty and spic-and-span. then why don't i feel loved? are my expectations too high? am i demanding too much? i understand you have a house to upkeep, a job that requires long hrs..but really its the little things that matter. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.
all it really took is a minor adjustment from my side. adjusting to having no parents. no family. adjusting to the fact that noone will really be there for me. through my various experiences. I KNOW i cannot count on you. as much as i like to think so.. i have been disappointed many times. TOO many times. so i adapt. i grew not to expect. from here i can even get some unexpected bouts of joy. and i know as much as my father loves me, he is thousands of miles away. he will never be physically here. ever. i needed friends and activities to fill the void.
maybe i'm just this stupid needy person, and an unfilial daughter.
of course things have become much better between us in recent years, but i really don't want to become too attached. i don't want to start giving much. becoz i don't want to get hurt again one day. so i just don't care..this is a very valid complaint of me. i'm sorry but it's a form of self-protection.
it just always comes up every now and then. however hard i try to AVOID it, i cannot help myself sometimes.
I'M SICK AND TIRED. IT'S BEEN 9 BLOODY YEARS. how many more times do we have to go through this argument?
posted by youie at 8:11 PM
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